It's What Matters: April 2011

On March 25th, at 8:15 am, Charley's biological parents traveled through snowy streets to the downtown courthouse, where they signed papers, in front of a judge, that would forever relinquish their rights to him. The "termination of rights" hearing was scheduled to take place that morning, if the parents failed or refused to sign the papers. The TPR hearing would have meant an appeals process with Charley being caught in "the system" for possibly more than a year. My thoughts were so conflicted that day. I didn't sleep the night before, and the next morning, I waited anxiously by the phone to hear if I needed to drive to the courthouse for the hearing. I had been subpoenaed, and would have to testify if the parents did not sign the relinquishment. I prayed that, if it was God's will, Charley would no longer have to be in foster care, all the while feeling a deep sadness for his biological mother. What a sad, difficult day for her. My anxiety level was at an all time high...I can't begin to imagine what she was going through.

At 11:30 am, I received the call that the relinquishment papers had been signed. Now, the hard part... I asked the caseworker to allow Curtis and I to have some time to process what just happened, and discuss and pray about our decision to adopt. He reluctantly agreed, but as we explained where our hearts and minds were, he began to understand. As foster parents, Curtis and I have loved each child that has been placed in our home. We love and treat them as our own. With that being said, I honestly admit that we both reserve a "sliver" of our hearts because the ultimate goal in foster care is re-unification. There's also the chance that the child will be reunited into an unsafe or unpleasant environment. We have felt the pain of loss and fear for a child that we loved dearly. It was not something we were eager to experience again.

Long story a little shorter...3 weeks later, after a "billion" prayers (literally! There were SO MANY people praying for us besides our own prayers!), lots of tears, laughs, discussions, wise counsel from our dear friends, and time spent alone with God, we made the decision TO ADOPT OUR PRECIOUS SON!

For me, the best part of this story is seeing the dramatic change that God has orchestrated in my husband's life. Thankfully, he was unwilling to make the decision unless he knew that it was God's will. Yes, this was very difficult for me. I strongly felt that adopting Charley was what we were supposed to do, but God knew He needed to be the one to nudge us to His one and perfect path for our lives. For three weeks, I prayed for God to keep me silent (as much as that was possible :-) ), mold my heart to His will, and give me the strength and determination to respect my husband as head of our household, no matter what decision the Lord would give him. It was NOT easy...but the rewards are GREAT!

I see a love that a father has for his son. A side of my husband I never knew. He has put his whole heart into being a "Dad" and it's a wonderful thing to watch. Tonight, Curtis was holding Charley while I was doing some things in the kitchen. As I walked into the room where they were, I had to hold back tears. Charley was snuggled up to his Daddy, with heavy eyes and a satisfied grin. Curtis asked me if I thought there was any chance that something could keep the adoption from happening. At this point, we've been reassured that it's near impossible. His response was, "I just don't know what I would do. He's my son now. That would be devastating." I later shared with Curtis that fear has popped into my head a few times this week about explaining the adoption to Charley. How will he feel? Will he still be happy with us? Will he understand? Curtis's response was perfect. "I'm not worried at all. We will tell him as soon as he's able to understand. We will tell him that he was CHOSEN. We CHOSE HIM to be our SON!....Sound familiar? GOD CHOSE US to be his sons and daughters. What a glorious gift we have the blessed opportunity to pass on!

For He chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will...Ephesians 1:4-5 NIV

Love to ya!

Shell