The Fingerprint Bracelet

For Christmas 2008, Curtis took Claudia and I to Borsheims to buy my Christmas present.  I was SO EXCITED!  Let's just say that Borsheims is the Tiffany's of Omaha! Ha!  Owned by Warren Buffett, it has some of the most beautiful jewelry and luxury gift items.  It's a lot fun to just walk around and "gawk" at some of the unusual pieces.  Borsheims was advertising a charm bracelet that year that I just couldn't pass up.  A link bracelet with round charms engraved with a name/birthdate on one side and a fingerprint impression on the other.  I thought this would be a wonderful way to celebrate Claudia being our first foster child.  I also envisioned eventually having a bracelet full of fingerprint charms, representing foster children that would pass through our lives.  Little did I know what that bracelet would symbolize for me.

When Claudia returned home to her mother in early 2009, I couldn't bear to take off the bracelet.  I seriously wore it ALL the time.  Showering, sleeping, working out, gardening.  It had become a part of me.  I even decided that the ONLY fingerprint that would ever make it onto the bracelet would be Claudia's.  When I look back at my actions, I realize that taking off the bracelet, meant having to "let go" of the part of Claudia to which I was still desperately clinging. 

The only person that ever talked me into taking off the bracelet was my physical therapist (now my dear friend), Teresa. She has such a kind, sweet spirit and she was very sensitive to my feelings. Even though I hadn't uttered a word about what it meant to me, other than describing what it was...she knew.
I never told Teresa how taking off the bracelet changed me.  It symbolized letting go.  Maybe just a little, but it was a start.  At the time, I believed that she was just doing her job, working on my shoulder and arm, and didn't want to risk breaking it. But, God was using her to get through to my heart. I'm thankful that Teresa was a willing soul, used by God to begin a long journey of healing.

So, about now, you're probably thinking that I don't wear the bracelet much.  Nope...I still wear it pretty much all the time. But, I'm able to take it off without hyperventilating.  And when I look at Claudia's fingerprint, I'm able to think about my sweet baby without having a serious meltdown.  Sounds extreme?  Yep...but that's where my heart was.  I'm just being real and honest.  And "real people hurt real bad" sometimes.  But, thankfully God is mending my heart.

Today, I'm adding not one, but TWO charms to my bracelet.  Curtis and I are taking Charley to Borsheims to have his fingerprint molded in wax to be put on a charm.  I'm looking forward to it.  It will be a fun outing for us.  Afterwards, we will go to lunch and maybe even have another picture with Santa. 

The other charm will represent "Little Star", our second foster child.  I never intended to have her fingerprint molded in the hot wax due to the severe burns on her hands, but I will have a charm on my bracelet for her.  She was one of our children, and I won't ever forget how she touched our lives.

God is changing my heart.  He is healing me in ways that I never believed he could.  He's shown me that even through the heartache, there were countless blessings that I just can't ignore.  He brought special friends into my life to walk alongside me and lift me up to Him.  He gave me a husband with an endless amount of compassion and understanding.  And, He has shown me that in all things, even in healing my heart, His timing is so much better than mine.

Off to Borsheims!.....Merry Christmas to me! :-)   and to YOU my special friends!

Love to ya!
Shell

Charley & MoMo

                           

"Little Star"  & MiMi



Claudia & MoMo