I got lost today. Lost in a sea of self-pity. And I had a heck of a time getting back "home". Wasn't until about an hour ago that I found my way. Suddenly, it all became quite clear. Know what did it? A movie. "Imagine That" - I highly recommend it. Everything that I was praying and yes, crying about just sort of resolved itself. This wasn't some religious movie. It was a comedy starring (of all people) Eddie Murphy. The message of the movie hit me right in the chest..."Keep the MAIN THING the MAIN THING. That's where it's at...the happiness.
When God called me to quit my job, I knew he meant business. I charged through my calling with a vengeance, only to realize that His version of me being a "stay at home mom" was MUCH different than mine. Besides taking care of an infant, I envisioned a life full of ministry opportunities (I already had them picked out), sleeping late, going to lunch with friends, keeping my house immaculate, and cooking gourmet meals for my hubby every night. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Was I in for a big surprise! How about very little time for ministry, because Charley has a crazy visitation schedule AND I can barely stay awake during the day because I don't get much sleep at night (it's ok, Charley. MoMo loves you!). I have been to lunch with friends twice because most moms my age work during the day. Oh, the house!! Let's just say that most of my cleaning involves sweeping up dog/cat hair off the floor and furniture on a daily basis, leaving no time to cook (if I even had the energy by that time of day)! So, there you have it....That's really where my heart was. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. I was asking God if he was really serious about this "stay at home mom" stuff, cause if not, I could TOTALLY understand.
It's funny how God uses the oddest ways, at the weirdest times to get his point across. During this movie, I realized that it doesn't matter how clean my house is, how many times a week I cook, how many "lunch dates" I have with my friends, or even how much sleep I get. God called me to take care of my family. I have a wonderful husband who adores me and just wants me to be happy. What more could I ask for? And, I have a beautiful foster son who depends on me for absolutely everything in his life right now. What ministry could I be involved in that's more important than that? All the sweet quiet moments, the laughs, the deep discussions, and the unforgettable memories I have with my husband are far more important than any time spent "flying to a meeting" or "driving 3 hours to a client's office". All the precious time spent feeding, playing, and cuddling Charley make "exceeding my sales quota" SO NOT exciting. Don't get me wrong. I think it's great that women have careers where they can excel and earn a good salary. But, this is where I'm called to be.
I'm makin' the Main Thing the Main Thing.....and I'm Keepin' it that way!
Love to ya!
Shell
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